Is this real estate deal trying to kill me?
"Is this real estate deal trying to kill me?" These are my exact thoughts as I sit here in "closing-hell" due to lender issues on the buyer's side that have been going on for days now. It's not the buyer's fault, it's not my seller's fault. It's literally due to the lender that has been a ridiculous hot mess the last week of closing. I've been in real estate for years and this lender's issues are even new for me, as well as the closing attorney.
If you've never had a transaction like this, that runs fairly smooth for weeks and then abruptly turns into a nightmare the week of closing, then heads-up, you'll get one eventually and feel this same way. Our tendency as agents can be to take on all that stress and internalize it. I'm going to be honest here, it suuuuccksss to keep calling my client with bad news. They're frustrated, I'm frustrated, the other side is frustrated and emotionally it can get very tiring for everyone. However, I know that keeping him regularly updated is good customer service and I want him to know, what I know, when I know it.
No one sees this side of our lives on reality tv. This is the part that you have to experience first-hand in order to really relate. Unfortunately, this is where a lot of agents disappear from their clients too. Don't be that agent. During critical times like today, I try to at least call once in the morning after checking with the other parties for an update, once before the end of the business day, and additional times if I find out any pertinent information throughout the day. While it's no fun to call without positive information, it's important.
While my initial thoughts from this day aren't exactly positive, I most certainly know that this deal is not trying to kill me of course. It can just feel like it sometimes. In moments like these, I have to reground myself and switch my mind to refocusing on the good, ie. self-talk sounds like "everything is signed, no one has taken possession yet, my seller is not in a bad spot overall, everyone is doing their best and working together to gain progress, we're almost there," etc. I'm consciously aware of doing this mental process anymore, but it wasn't always like this. This has been a practice for me to intentionally change my thinking when dealing with stressful scenarios.
I get frustrated and feel that stress like everyone does. I genuinely care about my clients, just like I do my students. When you genuinely care, it does weigh on you because you want a good outcome for your clients. Even though that can cause you stress, it shows you care too. That's not a bad thing. From my experience, these are the agents that clients love. The agents that clients return to for future transactions. Clients know when someone is genuine or not. Caring sets you apart from the pack. That leads us to the big question of "How do I relieve this feeling and not get weighed down by days like this?" Let's take a look at a few options.
First, I previously mentioned that you'll need to shift your thinking to the good. Focusing on the bad helps no one, especially yourself nor your clients. Stop looking at your phone, sit down somewhere quiet, and close your eyes. Take 5 minutes to focus on your breathing and come back to the present moment. The "right now." When you feel your thoughts wandering into an hour from now, a day from now, or a week from now, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. All those "what if" scenarios are an absolute waste of your wonderful imagination. Right now, you're ok, your client is ok, and you're only dealing with the "right now," not the "what ifs" of tomorrow.
Next, go do something physical. Go for a walk, go to the gym, get some happy endorphins flowing in that brain of yours! It doesn't have to be anything crazy either. For example, I'm going to go take my dog for a walk in the park for a bit. She needs the exercise, I need the exercise and I need the benefit of the happy hormones flowing in my brain. As an added bonus, I get some of my best ideas when exercising. It'll get you out of hyper-focusing on the problems at hand and let your subconscious mind work on them in the background.
A third option is to do something that is positive, gives you a feeling of accomplishment, and gets your mind off the situation. Go book the hotel for your next vacation, go read your favorite inspirational book for a while, go take a drive around your favorite subdivision, go look at new construction developments and see what the builders currently have, go work on your garden, or go listen to a podcast you enjoy. There are a million options, just don't sit staring at your phone or computer screen waiting for the answer to magically appear in your email or text messages. If it's going to happen, it'll happen. If not, as long as you've done your best then that's all you can do. Nothing will change by overly worrying about it. It'll be ok.
These quick stress relievers are just a few of the many options that can help you deal with the tough days that we sometimes face as professionals in this industry. Remember to have grace with yourself, think happy thoughts, and intentionally be present. All else fails, put your favorite tunes on the earbuds, take the dog for a walk, and get some fresh air!
Shine on my friend ~ Your Real Estate Coach,
Amanda
