Giving Yourself Grace when you f*ck up in real estate
Want to know a secret? It's a doozy too! Drum roll please....real estate agents f**k up in real estate transactions. Yep, I know, it's one of the best-kept secrets in our real estate industry. Everyone's perfect in your sales meetings. Agents don't acknowledge it. Brokers don't dare to normalize it (gasp!).
However, I'm going to bring it full frontal so we can talk about it. We're going to talk about it openly and I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything because there are a few very important points that I want you to know.
First, I want you to know that WE ALL F**K UP!!! Every...Single...One...Of...Us. I want you to know this because I want you to understand that you're not alone. I've taught thousands of students and managed hundreds of agents and in all my years I've NEVER EVER met a flawless agent that was free from mistakes. Yes, I'm talking to the top producers too. Let's put down the facade of the ego and start helping each other and our clients instead.
Too many times in this industry there is this fear that we have to be perfect all the time. I know that is partially because of the legalities we face daily and if it's something larger, no one wants to be sued. So real estate agents don't talk about mistakes out of fear. They brush them under the rug, look the other way, hope nothing resurfaces from them, and go on to the next deal. However, that really needs to change within the confines of our own brokerages. We have to get better at talking about our mistakes.
"Why?" you ask. For one, it's great training for each other. We can learn so very much from each other's mistakes so we can avoid pitfalls in the future. You already learn from your own mistakes, right? Well, you don't have time to learn all the mistakes in this industry, so isn't it easier to learn from each other instead?
Another reason to learn from each other's mistakes is for something very internal to each one of us. When you make a mistake, you feel shame, guilt, or possibly like you're stupid, incompetent, or not built for this business. Let me be the first to tell you that you're wrong.
Mistakes are normal and they are human. I see 2-year agents make mistakes. I see 8-year agents make mistakes. I see 30-year seasoned agents make mistakes because no one taught them any different. There is a good chance, that if any of these agents were in a nurturing environment initially that allowed conversation about mistakes and didn't ignore them, maybe they would have learned the correct way.
Each one of us should feel comfortable talking about things that go wrong instead of hiding like 5-year-olds that might get put in time-out. If you don't learn the correct way, then there's a good chance that you'll repeat the mistake again and it could be a larger repercussion the next time.
Many times brokers don't want to even hear about mistakes, which is very sad to me honestly. They feel the less they know the better. Listen, if you're in a state where you have a broker over you that is supposed to be guiding you, that is their job. If you're doing your job, shouldn't they be doing theirs? Yes, they absolutely should.
Now don't get me wrong here, I don't want you posting your screw-ups all over social media or anything, but I do want you to understand how common it is in this industry. Also, I want you to understand that IT'S OK. Just make sure that you learned from them.
There's a myriad of reasons that you can run into issues. Yes, it's common that you just didn't know the correct method, but it can also be things like a change in the market conditions, various vendor requirements, new real estate trends, etc. If we talk openly and freely in a safe atmosphere, then we can potentially alleviate some of these issues in advance before you run into them in your practice.
Another very important point that I want to make is that you need to give yourself grace on those days. They aren't frequent, I promise. I know we sometimes have a tendency to beat ourselves up when something goes wrong, especially if it's because we messed up, but most times it does work itself out.
I've done hundreds of deals myself and when I look back at some of my mess-ups years ago, they seemed to always work out. Just be honest with your clients, go to them with your heart in your hand and apologize if needed, and do your best to correct things.
Remember this is a "practice," it's not a perfect science and we have to work at it daily. You'll never have two deals that are identical. You'll never be fully prepared for everything that arises. You don't know everything and that's ok. Don't be afraid to say "I don't know, but I'll try to find out." And you're not an attorney, so be sure not to overstep those bounds. Follow those simple rules to guide you and you'll be just fine.
Keep Shining On ~ Your Real Estate Coach,
Amanda
